Couples Counselling

Creating a common ground

 


When two people come together to form a couple, it's not just men and women meeting each other. Your family system, each with its own history, fate, adversities, different strengths and vulnerabilities, morals and values, also meet.

The difficulties and conflicts in a couple's relationship often arise because each of the partner's own believes and behaviors acquired from the family they grew up in, come into conflict.

The most obvious and simple solution would be that each of the partners sees the other's family systems as different, yet equal and valid. This turns out to be a complicated challenge.

The beliefs and values in our family of origin evolve through many generations. They are then passed on from one generation to the next, influencing all the members of the family to one degree or another.

The effect of unresolved consequences from traumatic, dramatic, or tragic events experienced by significant family members can strongly determine our way of relating, behaving, and problem-solving that we then take with us into our couples relationships.

The way in which I work with you as a couple is by helping you find your own common ground. Increasing effective communication and strengthening emotional responses, interactions, and attachment bonds are important and necessary parts of this process.

Yet acknowledging the differences and letting go of some of the values, habits, and views acquired from your respective family, assists in creating your own shared values and standing as a couple.

A new balance can be found, with each partner contributing to the newfound ground. This creates an inspiring stage that provides the framework for an exciting and constructive development in the relationship.

 

 

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